Disc0rd3r's Fantabulous Dare Show
by JustCallMeDisc0rd3r
Summary: Eeyup... I'm doing this. XD Sorry guys but the bandwagon...more details inside. Review if and when possible. XDD
1. Introduction

So...

I'm doing this. XD

I'm doing a date show my NinjaGia!

And I will dare all of the following:

The Ninja

P.I.X.A.L.

Mindroid

Cryptor

Overlord

Cyrus

Nya

Wu

Misako

Garmadon

Any of the Serpentine

And My OCs:

Alice (cyborg: Golden Sister)

Elena (I'm sure you all know)

KizuKeru (little ones)

Arbiteth (queen of the serpentine)

Blank EXE (ghost in the machines)

Send that shit in gaiz!


	2. Chapter 1 - LOL GARMADON'S TWINKIE!

D!sc0rd

I looked around at the huge theatrical studio that surrounded me, and I turned to Dareth. "Who did this belong to before you found it?"

He shrugged. "I heard it was owned by the creators of Ju-On."

I grinned. "Excellent...nice and ominous...get the ninjas...anyone involved with them too. We're gonna have a lot of fun..."

He nodded. "Yes ma'am."

X.X.X

The cameras were all around me, I'd never been on camera before but I felt at home.

The man behind the camera counted down from three and I started to speak.

"Well hello there, children, teens, adults, ladies and gentleman...if you are looking for intelligent television...you are looking in the ABSOLUTE wrong place. This is D!sc0rd3r's Fantabulous Dare Show, where fans like you get to torture the ninja in any way you deem ridiculous...except in the case someone decides to get sexual. Then that will be a no...it is a kids show..."

Dareth crept up behind me and whispered loudly. "She's lying!"

I turned and gave him a death glare. "Go back behind the curtain and wait to be introduced with the others."

He pouted. "But I'm your host!"

I chuckled. "Oh...right!" I turned back to the camera. "Alright then! Lets introduce our torture victims! Kai, Jay, Lloyd, Zane, Cole, Nya, Wu, Garmadon, Misako, P.I.X.A.L., Cyrus Borg, Mindroid, General Cryptor, Scales, Scales Jr., Pythor, Arbiteth, Alice, Elena, KizuKeru, Blank EXE, and whoever else I invited but forgot about."

The audience that had showed up randomly cheered like wild animals, clapping and screaming.

"Why are we here again?" Asked Alice. "Certainly you aren't going to torture us more, are you, almighty creator?"

I sniggered. "No, darling, of course not..."

I whipped out a white card and looked at it with contemplation. "Alright...our first dare is from carcticwolf, and he or she requested that Garmadon run naked through NinjaGo city...and I quote, without "even pants so his Twinkie will show...lol..."

Garmadon's lightly wrinkled face turned bright red. "I will absolutely not do that. That is obsurd."

Lloyd laughed. "You were dared to do it, dad, you have to..."

"Oh...lord..."

I grinned at the camera. "Garmadon will show his man bits to everyone! Right after this break!"

The crowd groaned in disappointment.


	3. Chapter 2 - Prepare Yourselves For The D

Garmadon

My children were at the far end of the group of dare-ees, snickering as I was forced to strip before everyone in the room. The ninja closed their eyes in horror, and Misako and Wu were acting like little more than children themselves...giggling along with Lloyd and Alice.

"You all are being very immature about this." I muttered.

Alice grinned. "Well at least we have an idea about why mom liked you so much..."

"Alice!" Misako gasped in exasperation.

"Kidding!"

I growled in anger. "Whoever this darer is I will end her..."

"Or him." D!sc0rd corrected.

"Silence!"

I took a deep breath as I approached the exit door to the building. "Okay...I am preparing now...to give all my dignity away...for the sake of a damn dare show..."

"No violent thoughtsss, Garmadon!" Scales called. "You sssswore to peaccccce, remember?"

"I do not want your two sense, Scales!" I called back. "The longer you belittle me the longer it will take me to get this over with..."

Taking another deep breath, finally everyone remained silent, and I exited the building into the near blinding daylight.

_Strange..._ I thought. _Its awfully quiet...everyone can't be sleeping..._

I timidly strolled through the abandoned streets, looking from corner to corner and finding no one.

"What the hell...?"

And then suddenly a loud screeching rang in my ears, followed by a familiar voice coming from the town speakers.

"Citizens of NinjaGo! I present to you, my older brother! Sensei Garmadon, feel free to take pictures and post them online!"

Damnit Wu...

"I am truly sorry, Garmadon." Cyrus said over everyone's giggling and the sounds of thousands of flashing cameras. "I tried to stop them but...well...it is hard to do so in my state."

"Good to know!" I yelled. "I will never forgive any of you for this!"

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

I held in my snickers, trying to appear professional on camera. "Wow Wu, you're quite the evil guy."

He shrugged. "I try sometimes...to get him back for all those times he wronged me."

I laughed full out now. "O-okay."

The door slammed open hard, and Garmadon did not look very pretty with that expression he was wearing.

"I...hate...all of you..."

Alice and Lloyd ran to him.

"0h know you can't hate us, father!" Lloyd laughed, offering a robe to the upset Sensei.

Garmadon grimaced. "You're right...but I can certainly ground you both for allowing those animals photograph me naked!"

Alice snorted. "Dad...you agreed to walk into the city naked...you asked for it..."

He bowed his head. "I...I know..."

I sighed, turning to the camera. "Okay. That's all for this episode. What a way to start a show huh? Gotta love old man junk..."

"Shut up!" Garmadon cried.

I chuckled. "Up next we have dares from HailsStorm...who..." I looked at her long list of dares and gawked. "Has...sent in quite a few challenges for my NinjaGia to face...see you all next time on my Fantabulous Dare Show!"


	4. Chapter 3 - HailsStorm Is A God 1

D!sc0rd

I've decided not to even acknowledge the presence of the cameras anymore.

From now on it will be unlikely that I mention them...

Or will it be?

"Hello fans and followers! Welcome back to the second episode of my Fantabulous Dare Show! Of course the usual band of losers are here!"

"Hey!" They all loudly called, seemingly in unison.

"And we have a whole plethora of dares coming from HailsStorm today." I gestured to Nya. "Come here, girly."

She laughed nervously. "I uhh...would really rather not..."

Kai shoved her to me, grinning. "Here's your debut sis!"

She walked up to me and blushed, not feeling comfortable on camera, it seemed.

"Yes, D!sc0rd?"

I smiled. "You have a cute name...Nya. Reminds me of the Japanese cat noise...you have been dared to become a kitten for the rest of this episode."

I poked her forehead lightly and an evil looking mist swallowed her up.

"No! Wait a minute I-!"

But she was cut off by my magic, and when the smoke faded she was replaced by an adorable, fluffy, black haired kitty.

"Awwww!" Jay cried, rushing to her and gently picking her up. "You are so cute!"

"Nya!" Nya mewed, swiping at his face.

"Awwww." He cooed at her, cradling her close and stroking the tip of her nose with a finger tip. "Adorable."

She hissed at first, but then she changed her perspective entirely, nuzzling him and purring loudly.

Arbiteth raised her hand. "Can I ship this?"

I rolled my eyes. "In private please, this is a kids show."

"SHE IS LYING!" Garmadon yelled. "She has scarred many children for life with the last dare!"

I glared at him. "Hush you! I was gonna wait until later but you have been dared to be reverted back into your childhood."

I waved a hand and he immediately shrunk to the size Lloyd was when he was still trying to be evil.

Alice picked him up. "Awwww! Look at daddy he's so teeny!"

Lloyd approached him, baby talking his father, who babbled angrily back at him.

"So..." Alice began, looking to her younger brother. "Does this mean we are his aunt and uncle for the time being?"

Lloyd shrugged. "Who knows. But I guess so."

"Lloyd! Arbiteth! To me my children!"

Arbiteth almost slithered to my side, staring with her enchanting red eyes. "Yes your majesty? She hissed.

"Yeah?" Lloyd asked.

I smiled. "You two have been dared to kiss..."

They exchanged glances.

"Yes with your family watching."

Pythor glared angrily at the both of them. "I've disowned you once daughter, don't make me do it again..."

She shot daggers at him with her eyes. "I don't give a shit what you do!"

And she proceeded to throw Lloyd to the nearest wall and completely tongue-rape his face.

My eyes grew wide. "Wow...way to make it real, Arbi!"

She threw herself back from a very flustered Lloyd, grinning. "No problem."

Lloyd, who was blood red and probably pretty (censored because this is a kids show), slumped to the floor, probably from lack of oxygen.

"He doesn't usually react like than when we're alone..."

Lloyd wheezed, and fell over in his side.

In truth, he was probably mortified that his dad had just seen that he wasn't as innocent a kid as he seemed.

"Okay, and we have one more dare!" I stated. "Cole has to taste his own cooking!"

Cole scoffed. "Baby, I can cook just as well as I can dance..."

Zane grimaced. "No...you cannot..."

Elena giggled softly and everyone else made gagging noises.

"Whatever." Cole growled. "Bring me some of that chili you made me take here..."

Dareth brought the bowl into the room, holding it out far from him as if it were radioactive.

That shit stunk...

"Alrighty then..." Cole took the spoon from the bowl, it being filled with the toxic waste he called food, and he took a healthy sized bite.

"Yum..."

I think one of our Serpentine guests threw up...

I turned back to the camera. "Alrighty, that's the end of this show. Next I will do HailsStorm's remaining dares and then introduce some new dare-ees! Lou Hence, Ed and Edna, and Professor Henry Julien. Goodnight everybody!"

"But...D!sc0rd it isn't night..." Dareth stated.

I snapped my fingers. "Now it is."


	5. Chapter 4 - HailsStorm Is A God 2

D!sc0rd

"Helloooooo all my fans and followers!"

I am doing a Pythor impression, and I think it is fairly swell.

"You all should prepare for show stoppers today! Because I am finishing off HailsStorm's dares! And also introducing some new dare-ees!"

I gestured to the not-so-mystery guests behind the curtain.

"Lou Hence, Ed and Edna Walker, and sweet old Professor Julien!"

They walk out and Elena and Zane stare in shock at their dad.

"H...how?" Zane turned to me. "I watched him die."

I shrugged. "I have some pretty amazing skills..."

Elena looks as though she is going to cry. "Daddy?" And she runs over to him, enveloping him in a strangling hug.

"Oh! Hello dear." He greeted. "You've grown up so well! How...did you know where I was?"

"I had implants in my eyes so I can see now..."

Julien smiled. "Oh that's great, sweetie." He looked to Zane. "How are you?"

Zane was sheepish. "I am fine...but quite shocked..."

Julien shook his head, looking rather confused himself. "Believe me son, I am just as confused as you are!"

I clapped my hands loudly. "Alrighty then! On with our dares!"

I pointed accusingly to Kai.

"You! My fire minion! You must go out...and find a random woman to flirt with! Now!"

Kai sighed with exasperation and complied with my wishes.

X.X.X

Kai

_So I have to flirt with someone..._

_That shouldn't be too hard..._

_Though..._

_I have been off my game lately..._

_And the whole freaking city seems deserted..._

_No wait!_

_There's someone!_

_She's pretty cute..._

I walked up to her, waving. "Hey um...I think I need some directions...because I got lost in your eyes."

She rolled them and made a disgusted noise. "Oh...you're one of those types? Yuck..."

I frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

She scoffed. "You act all hot like you're all that but you really aren't..."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Lady I am the definition of hot. I'm the ninja of fire for Christ's sake!"

She smirked. "I'm not impressed...besides...even if I was...I'm taken..."

That had me taken aback. "By who?"

D!sc0rd came out of the shadows then, giving the girl a firm kiss on the cheek. "Me." She stated.

"WHAT?"

"Eeyup! HailsStorm requested I make this awful for you so I hired my girlfriend to help me out."

And they kissed, this time on the lips.

I felt someone lean on my shoulder and I turned to see it was Cole.

"Stop looking so angry, this is some sexy stuff!"

I grimaced at him. "I'm gonna tell Alice."

He scoffed. "She likes other girls too. She'd probably be all for inviting someone into our little circle...though I'm not sure how I would feel..."

I laughed. "Why? Because you don't like to share?"

"Precisely..."

I glared at the two girls standing before me, snuggling. "Yeah...me neither..."

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

"Well...that was...interesting..." I stated, running my fingers through my hair. "Now for the next dare. Jay! You have to run about the city...causing a panic! Tell everyone as loud as you can that the world is ending. Scream like a bitch. Act completely and utterly terrified. And this is just a personal touch of mine. If you get people to believe you...I'll give you a cookie."

Jay clapped happily. "Finally something to do! I hate just standing around."

I turned to the camera. "I'm not gonna give him a hidden cam, I am going to keep this from the perspective of the studio. And if I can't hear him doing his dare then he automatically loses..."

"What is he gonna lose?" Kizu asked softly, huddling toward Mindroid.

"He is going to lose his prize of a cookie."

She bowed her head. "In the event...he loses...may I have the cookie?"

My heart broke. She was so freaking sweet! Why did I have to create her to me such am angel?

"Of course you can, baby."

"Thank you..." She cooed.

Then the screams started.

"EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD IS ABOUT TO END! THE OTHER NINJA ARE ALREADY DEAD GUYS YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE CITY NOW!"

And then more screams started.

"Oh..." Kizu whispered, disappointed.

I walked over to her, smiling, and I held out a cookie to her. "You can have it anyway, just because you are so sweet."

She beamed happily. "Thank you, ma'am." And she took it graciously, nibbling politely.

Jay returned, the city was in a panic.

"Where is my cookie?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Gone. Actually I lied...no cookie for you..."

"Aww..."

Cyrus proceeded to speak over the city speakers.

"Everyone please calm down, there is no need for alarm. We are doing a date show and that was only one of the dares. I promise the world is not about to end."

The screaming subsided.

"Next dare!" I sung happily. "Wu!" I called, pointing to him."

He was in the middle of a sip of tea, and he set his cup down on one palm. "Yes, D!sc0rd?"

"You are not allowed to drink any more of that. Captain's orders."

He looked very distraught. "But...it will get cold."

Garmadon took it from his frail hands. "I will drink it, brother, you don't need to worry." And he same beside him...and began to drink, just as he said he would.

Wu pouted like the adorable old man he was. "I do not endorse this form of torture..."

I shrugged. "Sorry, hon, but when you signed the contract you agreed to endorse this kind of torture..."

"You always have to read the fine print, Wu..." Misako told him softly.

I looked to her next. "You have been ordered to destroy your scrolls..."

Now it was her turn to be distraught.

"But...those are ancient relics! There are only one of every one of those in the entire world!"

I shrugged again. "Sorry babe. Captain's orders."

Dareth brought her scrolls into the studio along with a box of matches, and she teared up as she set them alight in the fire pit I provided for her.

Wu embraced her, whispering in her ear. "You always have to read the fine print, Misako..."

And she slapped him really hard across the face. "Your damn tea addiction is different from ancient history Wu!" And she started to sob.

I scoffed. "Don't worry, I can reverse the damage...I just wanted to see your reaction personally..."

She stared at me, growing steadily more upset.

"You...wanted...to see my reaction!? That's it!?"

"Next dare is for me! I'm throwing you all off a cliff!"

I thrust my hands palms out in front of me toward all of my cast members, the wind started to blow heavily and before they knew what hit them, all but Lou remained in the room, as the rest of the had flown out the window that had magically opened behind them...and the fell the height of the cliff that I had forgot to mention.

I turned to Lou now. "She has a special dare for you, while we are awaiting the ninja's return. She wants you to critically analyze the following songs: Black Paper Moon from the anime Soul Eater, Resonance from...Soul Eater, Bokuso Yume Uta from...Soul Eater again! And finally Fireflies by Owl City."

Black Paper Moon plays first, and Lou is given the time to apply his critique.

"I actually really enjoy this piece. The singer portrays so much emotion in her voice. The music itself seems angry and heavy but the singer's voice is soft and pleasant and almost melancholic but the melodies just pair so well together."

Resonance was played next.

"I think that this could have been significantly better. To me this person does not sound at all different than Hironobu Kageyama, who I do not like simply because all of his music sounds the same, no matter who or what he is performing for. Also the music and the voice clash...in fact...the music clashes with itself."

Then Bokuso Yume Uta

"This piece is less atrocious than Resonance, in my opinion, but I find that it is not much different from any other Japanese or Korean rap song that I have ever heard, which makes it generic. It is not hard to find a song better than this of the same style."

Then finally Fireflies.

"At first I did not like this song, simply because it made no sense to me. But when I listened to it again I realized the try meaning of the words. There is beauty in dreaming during the night but what do you miss when you are sleeping? There is a world of wonder, dark or light, and I like that this is one of the few songs I've ever heard to portray fascination with the concept."

The ninja and all other dare-ees were back now, and all of them seemed a little irritable.

"That sucked!" Kai yelled.

"Yeah!" Cole agreed. "That better not have been some sick joke!"

I shook my head. "No. But my reason for timing was simply because I didn't want to hear Misako cry...I also didn't want her to kill me."

Dareth brought her her scrolls, now undamaged.

"But I did mention I could fix them so now you don't have to be upset...for the final dare of this episode requires much whimsy."

"Well what is it?" The Overlord asked. "Spit it out worm..."

I decided to ignore his comment. "It is for Zane. HailsStorm wants to test your amazing ability of stealth...so you will all play hide and seek...and we will see how long it takes to find him! I declare that General Cryptor is "it"!"

The all stared at Cryptor, who was seething.

He closed his eyes.

"One...two...three."

Everyone scrambled for find their hiding spots, and just for good measure I decided to hide too...

When he was finished counting down...

I was the first one he found.

X.X.X

Zane

_No one will ever find me here._

_I am going to win this game of hide-and-go-seeking..._

_My ability of stealth will surely pass HailsStorm's test..._

I heard everyone scrambling about, some squealing with horror and delight when Cryptor found them...

But soon the squeals died down, and the whispers became that of worry.

"Where in hell is Zane guys?" Dareth asked.

"I don't know...he sure can hide well though..."

_Good. _I thought. _Then I have passed the test._

"Well lets find the last few others. I know that Arbiteth is perching on top of that umbrella thing on the camera tent whatever."

"Damnit..." I heard Arbiteth say. "You suck Lloyd."

"Sorry..."

"We have been searching for hours..." P.I.X.A.L. stated. "I am starting to worry for Zane's well being..."

I sighed...

And crawled forth from the large white light fixture linked into the thirty-foot ceiling.

"...So? Have I one?" I asked, leaping down.

They all looked up in awe.

"How did you get up there?" Jay asked. "That's insane!"

I shrugged. "I jumped..." I bowed my head sheepishly. "Though I did not realize the game had been going so long. I lost track of the the time, and I apologize."

X.X.X

"Okay. That concludes this episode of the dare show lovies! Up next we have a few dares from a guest called Ninjagorulz. Until next time...only on...my Fantabulous Dare Show"


	6. Chapter 5 - Well, TacoBell Is Good

D!sc0rd

"Well..." I began, eating some sort of glorious burrito from the fast food restaurant TacoBell. "I used to hate the thought of cheap Mexican food...but this freaking Quesorito...is so...freaking...delicious..."

Kai sighed exaggeratedly. "Can you just start the show please? I don't care the Peyton got you addicted to tacos and shit."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever..." I mumbled, rapidly consuming the rest of my delicious morsel.

"Alrighty babies, Ninjagorulz requested that Mindroid and Cyrptor read a story called Little Ones by...huh. Me."

Mindroid and Cryptor looked at each other quizzically, Mindroid making a sounds similar to another familiar robot named R2-D2.

I gestured them near, pulling out a small journal that contained the fruits of my labor.

"Have fun, you two."

It took them an hour to read it, Cryptor kept making angry or disgusted faces at what he was reading while Mindroid seemed to be genuinely interested.

"That...was absolutely disgusting..." Cryptor droned angrily.

Mindroid, who had not really acknowledged Kizu, (even though she hovered around him most of the time), until now, looked behind him to her, she was blushing, curled in upon herself as if she was frightened.

Mindroid stood and went to her, beeping and making all sorts of noises and gestures.

Kizu hugged him timidly, and he did not really respond...but he did not resist either.

I grinned. "They're so tiny...and sweet..."

Cryptor bowed his head, hiding his face in his metal hands. "I hate humans..."

P.I.X.A.L. addressed his statement directly. "You would not think in such a manner had you someone to care for you..."

The general scoffed. "Do not speak nonsense to me, girl. I would never feel anything but hatred toward an organic being...I am not weak and impressionable like Mindroid..."

The little robot heard this, storming up to him angrily and shooting something through a tube at his former leader.

"Gah!" He cried, clawing at the sticky substance. "What is this?" He turned as reached in front of him, trying to find something to clean himself on...

But he ended up latching himself to the pre-Golden Master Overlord...taking the perfect eternal hug position.

"Dare number two...Cryptor and Overlord have to hug for the remainder of the show...and since you two are evil and wouldn't comply willingly...I had Mindroid glue you together!"

Mindroid chirped mechanically, saluting me happily.

"You traitor!" Cryptor roared, trying to advance to kick the little robot into next week...

But he ended up falling...and the Overlord fell on top of him.

"Damnit!" Overlord yelled. "You incompetent hunk of junk!"

I giggled. "Alright! And final dare...Zane has to fight with...Herobrine...who in hell is that?"

I looked to the others for help but no one knew.

I looked to the camera. "Well...I don't know who Herobrine is so I guess that's the end of this episode if my Fantabulous Dare Show! Don't forget to send my babies dares!"

"And send me cake!" Cole cried. "Please!"


	7. Chapter 6 - Little Dojo Of Horrors

D!sc0rd

I looked at the days dares on my little slip of paper and sat in my directors chair and cried a little.

Not for a bad reason just for the sheer fact that today was gonna be a hilarious day.

One of the camera men gestured to me, whispering: "You're live!"

"I know! I know just..." I laughed. "Man some of my fans...okay welcome world to my happy Fantabulous Dare Show! Where today I will be introducing a new host. My lovely assistant Peyton Holloway!"

She comes out into camera frame and waves. "Wazzup homiesssss?"

Dareth walked up to me. "Um...D!sc0rd? I thought I was your host..."

I scoffed at him. "Well now you are one of the dare-ees! Go over there and stand with Elena."

He obeyed.

"Okay..." I whispered to the camera. "I think Dareth and Elena are absolutely adorable together...but I think they are the best couple to be torturing...so anything you can think of...anything that isn't too explicit...but fairly ridiculous...send that in! Though be moderate, this is a kids show..."

I turned to all the members of my show. "Alright my loves! The first dare is from zanejulien, who wants us all to watch the nineteen-sixties Little Shop Of Horrors!"

X.X.X

_We are experiencing technical difficulty, please come back in about an hour when we are finished watching this train wreck of a film...(in a good way)._

X.X.X

"Okayyyyyy..." Kai mused. "That seemed kinda pointless."

I shook my head. "Oh no dear." I gestured to Zane. "Come hither darling. I need to speak with you..."

Peyton giggled maniacally as he obeyed my command. "Yes ma'am?"

I gripped the collar of his gi, pulling him down until we were nose to nose. "Now sing for me, robo-boy, the theme of Little Shop Of Horrors."

I released him, but he jut stood there and blushed like an idiot.

"I...I..." He looked back to P.I.X.A.L. "Do I have to?"

I nodded. "Yes! If she shuns you for your hilarity then you know she is goofing you and you can leave her for me!"

A gunshot is heard, and I fall to the floor from the force of the impact.

"Ow...damnit..." I grumbled angrily and pulled the bullet from my metal skin, hissing in pain, then I regained my throne. "Okay...make art for me Zane. Amuse us!"

Zane sighed, opening up his chest compartment and reluctantly turning on his humor switch for courage.

And what happened next was the very definition of hilarious...

_Oh god his dancing though..._

_And the ninja doing backup for him..._

_My lord..._

_Yes please..._

"Little shop,

Little shoppa horrors.

Little shop,

Little shoppa terror.

Call a cop.

Little shoppa horrors.

No, oh, oh, no-oh!

Little shop,

Little shoppa horrors.

Bop-sh'bop,

Little shoppa terror.

Watch 'em drop

Little shoppa horrors.

No, oh, oh, no-oh!

Shing-a-ling,

What a creepy thing to be happening!

(Look out, look out, look out, look out!)

Shang-a-lang,

Feel the strum and drang in the air.

(Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Sha-la-la,

Stop right where you are, don't you move a thing.

You better,

You better,

Tellin' you better

Tell your mama

Somethin's gonna get her.

She better,

Everybody better beware.

Oo, here it comes, baby.

Tell the world, baby.

Oh, oh, no!

Oo, hit the dirt, baby.

Hit the dirt, baby.

Oh, oh, no!

Oh, oh, no!

Alley-oop,

Hurry off to school child, I'm warnin' you.

(Look out, look out, look out, look out!)

Run away!

Child you gonna pay if you stay, yeah!

(Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Look around,

Somethin's comin' down, down the steet for you!

You betcha,

You betcha,

You betcha butt, you betcha.

Best believe it,

Somethin's come to get ya.

You betcha,

You better watch your back in this town...

Woo!

(Comma comma comma.)

Little shop,

Little shoppa horrors.

Bop-sh'bop,

You'll never stop the terror.

Little shop,

Little shoppa horrors.

No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!"

Everyone in the room watched in their fits of silent giggles until the bitter end of Zane's tirade, and when he was finished he switched off his humor and slumped to the ground, burying his face in his hands in shame.

P.I.X.A.L. approached him, kneeling by his side and smiling. "That was certainly entertaining...I wonder why you do not turn on whatever that was more often..."

Zane looked up at her with a red face. "You...enjoyed that?"

She nodded. "I did."

He chuckled shyly. "Well...I don't usually turn that switch on because my humor isn't very popular...but maybe...I could use it more often for you?"

I screamed...

I screamed the fangirl scream that I knew all people watching wanted to portray.

"FUCK! You two are just too cute! I'm going to have to kick you off my set if you don't quit!"

The clung to each other in shock of my screaming.

"I apologize..." P.I.X.A.L. nearly whispered. "I will try to control myself..."

"Sorry, ma'am..." Zane replied.

I contained my fangirl. "Yes...thank you..." I nodded. "Okay...next dare is for Wu, from zanejulien, who wants you to go out into the city now..."

Sensei Wu looked at the clock. "But it's twelve-o-one..."

I shrugged. "Hey man, it says you gotta go at midnight..."

X.X.X

Sensei Wu

It is midnight and I don't see what the issue is.

I don't even need a flashlight, the streetlights illuminate my path as I stroll through the city.

It is beautiful and peaceful, there aren't too many people out this late, and I am just enjoying my stroll.

"This...is kinda boring..." I stated aloud.

_I'm just going to return to the building now..._

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

"Well that sucked..." I said bluntly.

Peyton nodded. "Yeah." She looked to the camera. "Sorry, zanejulien, there isn't a lot of danger since Zane obliterated the Overlord..."

The Overlord huffed angrily. "I'm right here...give my pride a break..."

I smiled. "The next dare is from piplup40..." I gestured Cole near. "My dearest Blacksmith it seems that this lovely darer had brought cake for you."

Cole grinned. "Aw sweet!"

"But!" I interrupted. "She wants Zane to hide in the city...anywhere in the city...and for you to get the cake...you must find him and bring him back here." I thought for another moment. "For my amusement, make sure he is tied and gagged."

Cole saluted me. "Nothing will keep me from my cake."

Sighing, Zane went to hide, and we waited about an hour before siccing a wild Cole on his snowy ass.

X.X.X

Cole

_So..._

_Bitch brought me cake..._

_But I have to find the fucking hide-n-seek master somewhere in this massive atrocity of a city..._

"Piece of cake..." I ironically stated out loud.

It was true the city was immense in size but I was immense in determination, and after a mere thirty minutes I found the white ninja swimming about like a fish in a huge koi fountain.

_But didn't he turn his humor switch off?_

_Whatever..._

_Now I just have to tie him up!_

Of course this was not an easy task, he agreed to comply with my wishes but his reflexes did not make it easy for either of us.

It took about an hour just to get his hands bound behind his back.

The gag actually went in pretty easily, and soon I was toting Zane into the studio, grinning ear to ear.

"Alright bitches, where is my...cake..."

Lo and behold...

D!sc0rd was eating it...

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

"Mmmmmm...whoever made this did a really good job..." I murmured around the German chocolate deliciousness.

"Hey!" Cole cried. "That was supposed to be for me."

I looked him up and down, scoffing. "You didn't get here quickly enough...sorry."

He pouted and went back to his spot, not even bothering to untie Zane.

I turned to the camera now, swallowing a massive bite of cake. "The next...seven dares are from the lovely Peyton Holloway!"

She giggled maniacally. "Guilty!"

I rolled my eyes. "And since there are so many, we will get back to them after this commercial break."

X.X.X

_This show is brought to you in part by Lego Chima, pissing off NinjaGo fans since the show started its meaningless existence...XD_


	8. Chapter 6 - And Now Back To The Show!

D!sc0rd

"Alright we're back! And it has come to my attention that Herobrine is some sort of...anti Steve from Minecraft...and he like...kills stuff and can transform...but since I know nothing about this I will just allow Zane to go into that world and fight the guy while I work out the other dares!"

I snap my fingers and Zane disappears.

"Okay! Everyone! Tie Cole up!"

Everyone proceeds to attack Cole, who is struggling fiercely.

"What the hell!? Hey!"

When everyone backs away he is revealed to be tied to a pole...dressed up as a stripper.

"Sorry..." Alice said with a laugh. "I wanted to see how it would look..."

He bared his teeth at her, and he started to sing and dance to Teeth by Lady GaGa.

"Dareth! Peyton! Please bring out my stockpile..."

Peyton is somewhat appalled. "Why are you nice to your co-hosts?"

I shrugged. "Because it is easier to attract flies with honey than with vinegar..."

She huffed, and she and Dareth proceeded to bring out rolling tables loaded with cake.

"Aw what the fucking hell guys!?"

I grinned at the camera. "We are doing Peyton's dares, if you don't remember, and one of them was to have Cole tied to a pole while everyone around him has a cake party."

Cole groaned in distress as everyone took some cake.

"There is a lot of sugar in this cake so...Jay! Get sugar high! Then go driving."

Jay shrugged. "Okay."

He did so, very quickly, and he led the building jittery, a few minutes later I heard police sirens wailing.

"Aw...hell..." And Nya left to rescue him from the cops.

I pointed to Kai. "You! Take an action figure of yourself...and behead it."

He was handed a red ninja lego by an audience member, and with a confused look, he pulled the little head off with a barely audible pop.

I summoned Zane back to my side, he looked absolutely mortified.

"That was not the Digiverse I was just sent to..."

I shook my head. "No. More people are likely to kill you in Minecraft...apparently..."

He shuddered.

"The next dare is...there is a love documentary in Rio talking about the statue Christ The Redeemer...turn on your funny switch...and stand on top of it...make sure the camera sees you."

Zane quickly obeyed.

I turned the channel on my big, rented TV on to the Discovery channel.

"And well folks it seems that someone is standing on TOP of the Christ The Redeemer statue..."

As there was Zane...

Doing a surprisingly good comical impression of an energetic, soulful black priest...

Similar to the one from Cleveland Show.

"Jesus Christ..." Kai whispered, placid his face in his hands.

"That's who he's standing on!" I stated.

"Shut up!"

I laughed loudly.

Soon the program was cut short and Zane came back a few hours later.

"That...was awful...I can't believe...that I was stupid enough to sign up for this..."

I shrugged. "Hey. At least we know you're hilarious..."

"But children were probably watching what is just done!"

Alice smacked the back of his head. "You know better. No child would ever watch Discovery Channel..."

"Wu?" I called, having an audience member lug in a bathtub.

He approached me reluctantly. "Yes?"

I pointed to the tub. "Peyton wants you to make sweet tea in this tub."

He grimaced. "Sweet tea? But sugar ruins the sanctity of the delicate flavor of-"

Peyton threw a huge ten pound bag of sugar at the old man. "GEORGIANS LIKE SWEET TEA! MAKE IT HOW I LIKE OR SUFFER!"

I patted her on the back lightly. "Calm done, hon, he will make your sweet tea..."

Wu grumbled as he complied with the dare. "And you are only abusing it more but having me make it in a filthy tub..."

Peyton walked up to Lloyd. "You owe me half of your Halloween candy..."

Lloyd shook his head. "Hell no!"

"Hell yes!" Peyton yelled back. "You Sao if you were going trick or treating you were gonna get more than ten pounds of candy. And I said you weren't. So we made a bet and you owe me candy!"

Pouting, Lloyd got one of his two bags of candy and gave it to Peyton.

Who beamed. "Thank ya!"

I brought Garmadon and Misako near to me, an arm around each of their shoulders. "You two...have the final dare...you must tickle each other for my amusement..."

Peyton rushed up with a mouth full of candy. "I don't care how divorced you are!"

The looked at each other, blushing. And then, without warning, Garmadon tackled Misako almost violently, knocking her to the floor and tickling her.

She giggled like a little girl. "Stop stop! Uncle!"

"My name is Garmadon." The elder Sensei said. "And I will not, you have to fight for freedom."

Misako hissed and punched him in his, (quote), Twinkie, and Garmadon fell backwards, holding himself and roaring.

Misako stood, fixing her braid and her wrinkled clothes. "I win..."

Wu cheered. "Go Misako!"

I rolled my eyes. "You must've been kinky lovers when you were married."

Misako winked. "But that is a mystery you will never solve."

"Mom..." Alice said with a grimace. "Ew..."

I turned to the camera. "Okay. Next episode, LloydLover2014 has some dares for us! And HailsStorm is returning as my second new co-host! Until next time, this concludes my Fantabulous Dare show!"

"Can someone please untie me now!?"

"And don't forget awful dares for Elena and Dareth!"

"Oh no..."


	9. Chapter 7 - Cole Or Jay?

D!sc0rd

"Alright...here is my new host asking the age old question..."

"NYA! Who did you choose? Cole or Jay!?"

Nya rolled her eyes. "I chose Jay...Cole it too...straight-forward for me..."

Cole shrugged. "Whatever. I got Alice now." He nudged the cyborg playfully. "Don't I?"

"Shhh!"

"Alright! We are starting with LloydLover2014's dares!" I pulled out long card with a list of dares.

"First one is...Lloyd. Eat cake in front if Cole."

Lloyd groaned. "But I almost got sick last time..."

"Do as I sat please. The contract-"

"Yeah yeah...the damn contract..."

He obeyed, and Cole looked ready to give up on life.

"Wu and Misako?"

The both approached me. "Yes?" They said in unison.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" I cheered.

Misako shrugged and gave Wu sweet old lady kiss on the mouth, Wu's blushing was radioactive. "I've had a crush on him for a while anyway..."

"Mom!" Lloyd whined. "Only kids can get crushes!"

"Hush Lloyd, I'm not THAT old."

Peyton sniggered. "Yes you are..."

"Hmmm..." I read the next few dares. "Well with this one I can knock out one of HailsStorm's and carcticwolf's at the same time! Lloyd and Nya! Play Five Nights At Freddie's..."

"Dangit!"

They both comply.

There is a room set aside just for them to do this, and I am glad because a few minutes later they are screaming in terror.

"Glad I've never heard of this game..." I stated.

I looked at the next dare.

"...I'll...save this one for last. On to the rest of HailsStorms dares!"

"Cole." Hails began. "Can you come here please?"

He sighed, obeying. "What now? Gonna deny me cake once again?"

She shook her head, holding out a decadent slice for him. "This is for you."

He gawked at her. "Man...I love you."

"Cole!" Alice yelled. "Watch yourself!"

He winced. "Sorry babe! It's platonic I promise!"

She laughed. "It better be!"

And he proceeded to eat the cake, smiling like an idiot.

"Jay has to go into Slenderman's woods..." She proceeded to say.

I shuddered. "Oh god..." I whispered, remembering my own awful encounter and near death when entering the woods. "Please be careful Jay."

He nodded, grabbing a flashlight. "D-don't worry..."

I turned to Kai. "You go to the Amazon river...and jump into the most piranha infested section that there is."

X.X.X

Kai

So...

I'm at the edge of the Anazon river...

And I can see the deadly fish jumping forth from the sparkling surface.

I dive in, assuming that because I am not bleeding they will not notice me.

But they do...

And start to bite me.

"Shit!"

I shot flames out in all directions, panicking.

I don't wanna fucking die because of some dumb dare show.

I scrambled pathetically from the waters and turned back to find it boiling...

Many cooked fish rising to the surface.

"Oh...well..."

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

I was grinning.

"Time for our final dare...Nya...Cole...you two have to kiss..."

Their eyes popped wide open.

The artificial side of Alice's face glitched and Jay stared sparking.

"Damn..." Cole whispered.

"If you kiss him I am going to kiss Jay!" Alice threatened. "And I'm a good actor, I can make it look real."

HailsStorm grinned. "Oh! A dilemma! What will they do!?"

Alice had fire in her eyes and Jay had just decided to pretend this wasn't even going to happen.

Nya approached Cole, blushing angrily, and she quickly pecked him on the lips.

So Alice took Jay in his arms and dipped him low, giving him a nice firm kiss while he wailed in surprise."

Alice pulled away from him, dropping his stunned body to the floor.

"Well...that was gross..."

Nya glared at her. "It was a dare..."

Alice shrugged. "And I wasn't okay with it. But Jay gets it, we're best pals!"

"Uhhhh..." Jay whimpered.

I snort/laughed, turning to my camera. "There was one last dare from Hailsy asking I turn Zane into a husky puppy...but we are out of time so that will have to wait until next time...on my Fantabulous Dare Show!"

"Elena and Dareth! Elena and Dareth!" Peyton cheered.

Elena blushed. "Please don't..."

Dareth draped an arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry, I we get dared, it can't be any worse than seven minutes in heaven with me." And he waggled his eyebrows at her.

She giggled, turning even more red. "So..."


	10. Chapter 8 - So PIXAL Likes Puppies

D!sc0rd

"Hello babies!" I cooed into the camera. "Welcome back to another episode of my Dare Show! Today I am introducing CameronNinjaDragons as another of my co-hosts!"

She walked out into camera frame, waving. "Hey..."

I grinned. "So...last chapter we did not have time to turn Zane into a husky pup, so we shall do it now!"

I snapped my fingers and Zane was enveloped in my evil looking smoke, when it faded, he was gone, and in his place was a tiny...

White...

Silver...

Blue eyed...

Fluffy...

Barely able to walk puppy.

P.I.X.A.L. gasped in shock, tiptoeing over to him and looking down.

"Oh no..."

Zane-puppy looked up at P.I.X.A.L. with his puppy eyes and made a noise that was probably a bark but he was so young that it came out as an affectionate squeak. Then he waddled over to her and licked her leg, leaning against it as loyal puppies do with their owners.

She had her mouth covered with her hands and she seemed on the verge of tears. "Oh..." She removed her hands to reveal a big smile, and she gently picked up the Zane-puppy, who's little stumpy tail wagged happily. He let out another squeak and as she pet him he kicked her hand.

"You're so precious..." She murmured to him, touching his nose.

Arbiteth raised her hand again. "I ship this too."

"Only in your head dear..." I told her.

"Whatever."

So P.I.X.A.L. was now completely absorbed in the sweet and affectionate Zane-puppy, and I had to move on to my next dare.

"Alright these dares are from The Silver Ninja Of Diamonds. Cole! Crash someone's party...and steal their cake."

He rubbed his hands together evilly. "Okay."

X.X.X

Cole

_So there is this wedding going on..._

_And that cake is just the sexiest cake I've ever seen..._

_I am lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce the guy who is delivering it..._

_Closer guy..._

_Just a little bit..._

_Closer..._

I tackle him to the ground, managing to keep the cake intact.

"HAHA!" I yelled. "Mine muddafucka!" I saluted the two who were being married. "Congratulations!"

They were not happy...

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

I shrugged. "That was easy."

Cole was wolfing down his wedding cake. "Yeah..."

"Zane is a tiny adorable puppy...so his stupid puppy affection counts for the: "Zane has to be dumb for a chapter" thing..."

And lo and behold, he and P.I.X.A.L. are off to the side, Zane is licking her face lovingly...(probably more that what is legal), and she is just so pleased with the Zane-puppy...she nuzzles him often.

"They're so cute that it makes me sick..." I muttered. "Next dare! Jay, every time you speak...a gal named Swords will throw you from the building window."

He looked as if he is extreme distress, and he manages not to whine.

I pointed to Kai. "You! Club Penguin! NOW!" And he is gone.

HailsStorm smiled at Garmadon, holding Wu in her arms. "Garmyyyy. Would you be a dear and toss this off the cliff there?"

Garmadon took Wu in his arms. "Yes ma'am..." And looked down, asking for forgiveness. "Sorry brother."

Over the cliffs edge he was then thrown.

Cameron read the next dare card aloud. "Misako is to be teleported, thusly into the Craft of Mines."

I rolled my eyes. "Dork..." I snapped my fingers and she was gone.

I grinned at Nya now. "You have been ordered to make out with Zane..."

She grimaced. "But...he's a dog!"

Jay laughed. "I guess you can call it..."puppy love"!"

Swords threw him from the window.

P.I.X.A.L. looked sad, but relinquished her claim on the Zane-puppy to Nya.

"Well..." She said, examining the Zane-puppy. "I have to kiss you..."

The Zane-puppy was little and dumb and did not know better, she when Nya kissed him...he licked her right on the teeth.

"Ew YUCK!" She cried, spitting to the side.

P.I.X.A.L. took Zane-puppy from Nya, pouting. "He is not yuck, he is beautiful." And she lovingly stroked Zane-puppy's fur.

"Now P.I.X.A.L...make out with Garmadon..."

They stared at each other for a while, then P.I.X.A.L. grew angry.

"I will not!" She exclaimed. "I forgive Zane for kissing Nya because in his state he is compatible with all, but I am not compatible with Lee Montgomery Garmadon, and I refuse to comply with the dare."

I gawked at Garmadon. "Your first name is Lee?"

He shrugged. "Since I was born, yes. But I do agree with the girl. And I refuse to accept the dare..."

I bowed my head, sighing. "I hate that it has to come to this...you two are banished from all future episodes of the show..."

They were mortified.

"But...that is preposterous!" P.I.X.A.L. declared.

"If you want to stay...you have to kiss..."

P.I.X.A.L. looked on the verge of crying, and Zane-puppy whimpered heartily as she approached Garmadon.

"I am not ready to leave yet." She said.

Garmadon nodded. "I agree. I do not trust any of the hosts with my son..."

And the kissed.

"And...boom goes the dynamite..." Peyton joked.

"Hush girl!" Garmadon demanded.

Wu finally returned. "Oh my...my head..."

"For the final dare...Wu has to swim in tea."

"Yay!"

"Sweet tea." Peyton added.

"Damnit!"

X.X.X

_Censored because Sensei naked is worse than Lee naked...because...wrinkles... *shudders*_

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

"And this concludes our episode! Up next HailsStorm has some more dares for us! As well as zanejulien. Until next time...on my Fantabulous Dare Show!"

"Can I get out of the Craft of Mines PLEASE!?"


	11. Chapter 9 - Let It Go! LET IT GO!

D!sc0rd

"Elena and Dareth finally got dared everyone!" I yelled loudly, clapping. "Eeeeheeeheeeee! They have to act out the Titanic movie..."

Elena was hiding behind Dareth, and she smiled. "That movie was sweet..."

Dareth grinned at her. "You know Jack and what's her name had sex right?"

Now she looked mortified.

"And I also get to draw you naked..."

Poor Elena was blood red, on the verge of sobbing.

"I have set aside a crew for you so that you can start filming it immediately!" I stated, and I gestured them to the room nearby.

They left to film.

"And we will watch that later." I looked at my next dare card. "Kai and Cole...go to Equestria..."

Cole rolled his eyes. "Been there, done that. Pinkie makes good cake but I can handle that place..."

Kai looked terrified and he started to pray.

"Please don't send me to Lyra, please don't send me to Lyra..."

He was whispering, but I could hear him perfectly.

With a snap of my fingers they were rigged with hidden cameras and sent straight to Lyra Heartstrings's house.

Where, from Kai's perspective, she was cuddle-raping him.

I could hear him whimper in terror over the big screen's speakers, and Cole was sitting in the background eating cupcakes with Pinkie Pie.

I turned off the screen. "I'm just going to leave them alone for a while...P.I.X.A.L.! Slap Zane please?"

She stared at me incredulously. "Why?"

"Because you were dared to, duh!" Exclaimed Peyton.

She turned to Zane reluctantly, raising a metal hand and giving him a pitiful love tap on the cheek.

I threw up my hands. "Oh come on! That wasn't a slap! Make me feel it!"

She was torn between listening to me and slapping Zane...

But she knew she couldn't leave...

She raised her hand again, apologizing softly, and the sound of the blow resonated through the whole building.

"Ow..." Zane whispered.

"I am terribly sorry!" P.I.X.A.L. cried. "I hope you know I do not condone domestic violence."

He hugged her. "Of course I do."

HailsStorm rubbed her hands together evilly. "Okay Zane! As revenge for her slap...you must kiss Elsa...snow queen..."

X.X.X

Zane

I wasn't really sure if the world of Frozen was a true place...

But it turned out that it was...

And I was transported straight into Elsa's room.

"Um...miss?" I asked, approaching her.

She jumped, turning to me. "Who are you!?"

I raised my hands in defense. "Forgive my intrusion, princess...I have been sent here from a distant universe...and I have been dared to steal a kiss from you..."

She wrinkled her tiny pale nose in disgust. "I would not give you a kiss merely if you asked for it..."

I sighed. "I...I am sad to hear you say that..."

I began to advance on her.

I did not want to.

I knew P.I.X.A.L. was watching...

And so many others...

But I couldn't leave her alone.

Elsa bared her teeth. "Stay back!" She cried, throwing forth a shield of ice that phased right past my slightly glowing form.

"Wh...wha?"

I held my hands out, palms up, and snowy swirls of my inner power palpitated about them. "You are not the only one who had the power to summon ice..."

She roared angrily, throwing sharp spikes at me.

I dodged them easily, catching one to throw back at her.

It pinned the fabric of one arm to the wall behind her.

"Damn!" She cried, freezing the floor next.

I slipped.

Everyone slips on the ice.

But I was accustom, and after a moment of testing the viscosity of the surface, I threw my own set of spikes, pinning a few more layers of her fabric to the wall.

I approached her now, frowning.

"Please try to understand. I do not want to do this at all...but I have to..."

She grimaced. "Why?"

I sighed. "Because...if I do not do as I stated I would...they will separate me from the one I love most..."

She stared at me, somewhat disbelieving. "That's...ridiculous..."

I nodded. "Indeed it is...but you understand my stakes?"

She sighed. "Yeah...I guess so."

I took a deep breath and expelled it slowly, allowing the ice I created to melt, and then evaporate to nothing.

"You have earned my kiss, warrior...but I pray that you are not just a lecher..."

I shook my head. "No...my sister's lover is a lecher. But I do not enjoy such...perversions."

"I sense that your heart is pure...your girl is very lucky..."

"No no. I am lucky to have her. She makes up for my imperfections..."

She kissed me.

I did not really have to do anything.

It was shocking.

She was warm even though she had the element of ice.

I would still prefer P.I.X.A.L.'s lips any day.

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

P.I.X.A.L. is having an emotional meltdown as she watched the big screen.

"He...really thinks that about me...?" She asked herself aloud. "He really...would go so far as to..."

I snapped my fingers and brought the white ninja back, turning the screen off once again.

The female droid ran to him, hugging him tightly.

"You are too sweet." She stated. "I heard everything!"

He blushed. "D...did you?"

She smiled. "Yes..." She leaned her head against his chest. "And you were wrong. I am indeed lucky to have you..."

I clapped. "Okay! Enough of the adorable! Jay. I've been told your strength is speed...so you will all race for my amusement!"

We went outside where there was more room and a track was set up.

"Go!" I yelled, shooting a gun.

Everyone started to sprint, everyone was pretty fast. And at first it seemed Zane was beating everyone.

But then I realized the blue streak that was running circles around them all.

Jay skidded to a stop before me.

"What can I say? I make even Sonic the Hedgehog jealous..."

HailsStorm clapped loudly.

"Okay! Back to the studio! I've been messaged saying that Dareth and Elena are done making their own version of the Titanic movie!"

X.X.X

Dareth is a terrible actor...

But Elena is actually pretty good, despite how obviously camera shy she is.

The movie is only about an hour long...simply because so much filler was removed.

But the end result was pleasing.

And so questions must be asked...

I grinned, turning to Elena. "So you manage to pose naked for that stick figure drawing...but how did you get the car windows to steam up?"

She blushed. "I...I...we..."

Dareth put an arm around her. "We used our breath to fog the windows. As much as I would've liked to ravage this cutie, I know my limits..."

Elena blushed a little harder, and planted a tiny kiss on the dork's stubbly chin.

I sighed. "You two are freaking precious...right up there with Zane and P.I.X.A.L.!"

I turned to the camera.

"It seems we took longer than I'd hoped. I said I would get to zanejulien's dares but it will have to wait until next time...on my Fantabulous Dare Show."

Peyton crept up behind me, whispering harshly to the camera.

"We still want everyone to pick on Elena and Dareth...but now we are adding a few others to the list. Mindroid and Kizu definitely, find someone that would love Overlord! And by god someone give Cryptor a cuddle buddy!"

Cryptor grimaced. "What in hell is "cuddle"? Whatever it is! It sounds like a human action and I refuse to endorse it!"

The pre-golden armor Overlord limped to Cryptor's side. "I agree, I will love or be loved by no one...especially not after being glued to another individual..."

"Goodnight!" I quickly said, finally allowing this episode to end.


	12. Chapter 10 - Me-YEOW!

D!sc0rd

I am off camera...

The name of this episode.

Oh my lord I can't handle it.

Being a chaotic being, machine possessed by a Draconequus, I have a terrible sense of humor.

Think...

Zane without his funny switch...(humor wise).

On comedy crack.

(I don't even know...)

Puns...wordplay...

Eeyup!

That's this gal!

All day...

Everyday...

(Sadly that is why I like Jay's jokes).

"D!sc0rd you are going to pop one of our gears out of place if you don't stop laughing!"

I wheezed, waving at the camera man. "Okay. Okay. Fine. I'll breathe. Our dares today are from zanejulien, who wants Dareth to go into the city to feed stray cats."

Dareth sighed. "Oh..."

Elena clapped with joy. "Oh! Can I go?" She begged. "Please please?"

"Sure babe...come witness...my downfall."

X.X.X

Dareth

There are stray cats everywhere in NinjaGo city.

There is even a little best of them behind my Mojo Dojo...

And what I have discovered from this is that cats absolutely HATE ME!

Elena was there cooing lovingly to each one but whenever I would reach out to pet them, where they would rub themselves against her, they would hiss and scratch at me.

I frowned at her. "How do you do that!?" I asked. "I have the food, but they keep walking to you!"

She smiled at me. "You just have to not be afraid of them. If they can tell you are afraid then they will actively pursue your destruction."

"Oh...how...morbid..."

A kitten approached, mewing up at us. "Just reach out and pet this one. She won't hurt you, just remember that."

Oh hell.

I reluctantly reached out toward the creature, it sniffed me, then started to purr and nuzzled my fingertips.

I smiled sheepishly. "Heh...heh...hey..." I pet the things head gently. "I have food for you..." I set out the little dish of tuna and the kitten started to wolf it down.

"Oh Dareth..." Elena breathed. "Can we keep her?"

I grinned. "Yeah babe, we can keep her."

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

"Kai! The next person that walks into the room you must kiss!"

Dareth stepped in that exact moment.

"Hey guys! I didn't die!"

Kai groaned with disgust and ran to Dareth, kissing him full on.

"Good to know buddy!" He exclaimed. "I missed you!"

Jay had his hands over his mouth and he was snorting, trying so hard to hold in his laughter.

Cole just pressed his palm to his face.

Dareth was pale as a ghost, completely shocked...

Just like everyone else.

"Uh...thanks...?" He replied, clearing is throat. "Um..."

He turned to me. "Is it okay if I have a cat here? Elena found a stray that she wanted to keep..."

I nodded, laughing. "Sure sure, whatever you want."

I waved to Jay. "Come here a second."

Timidly he obeyed. "Yeah?"

I lifted up a metal pitcher. "zanejulien wanted me to pour this ice water down your pants..."

He sighed, bowing his head. "Fine."

Little did he know...

It was really steaming hot water.

He yelped like an animal when I drenched his pants with it, swiping at me. Then he proceeded to do a little dance.

"HOT HOT HOT HOT!"

Nya laughed, as did everyone else, and I turned to the camera.

"That concludes this episode of my Fantabulous Dare Show! Up next, magicwolfpup123 has some dares and..."

Someone spoke into my earpiece.

And I felt all the fluid running my systems drain from my head.

"And...the Administrator...is coming...oh god..."


	13. Chapter 11 - Holy Shit, Its My Boss!

D!sc0rd

_Oh dear, oh dear..._

_She's coming today._

_Oh GOD WHY?_

_Holy mother of Mary..._

Kai and the other ninja exchanged glances.

"Who is she?" Lloyd asked.

"She is my administrator..." I said. "Basically she made me. And I made you guys...at least the personalities that you portray in the stories I write..."

P.I.X.A.L. thought a moment. "So...technically, by creating you she created us as well."

I nodded to her. "Yes."

"My..."

"I know, it's terrifying!"

The front doors to the building slammed open then and in walked the Admin.

She had blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore a blue lacy top paired with a black half jacket and some white skinny jeans with black zippers on her front pockets. She had blue streaks in her hair and perching on top of it was a pair of blue sunglasses.

I smiled. "Hey Miss Breyer!"

You all may remember her from Dementiality...

That didn't really happen. XD

Lloyd and all did act in it though...

It was fairly popular...surprisingly...

She smiled. "Hiiii!"

She came up to me and gave me a big hug. "How are you? How is the dare show going?"

"Ha! Fantabulous. We just wanted to know what type of dare you had for us, if any."

She thought a moment. "I dare...all of you to run a McDonald's for one day...feel my pain..."

X.X.X

Kai

"Jay do you have my freaking hamburgers made?"

"No! Cole keeps burning the damn patties!"

"Overlord I need some pies now! These people are at the window!"

"Shut up, worm, I am moving at a pace with which I am perfectly productive!"

"SENSEI MAKE MY SWEET TEA I AM COMPLETELY OUT!"

"I refuse to make any more of this filth, it is not tea, it is sugar flavored with tea..."

I roared in frustration, gripping fistfuls of my hair.

Elena walked up to me, holding KizuKeru's hand. "Are we doing okay...?" She asked, on the edge of an emotional breakdown.

I managed a smile. "Yeah, you guys are my angels in the HELLHOLE!"

They went back to the front counter to take a couple more orders that just continually piled higher and higher.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Zane.

"I sense you are in need of assistance..."

I nodded. "Yes! Please help us!"

He nodded. "Everyone that isn't taking orders please go and take a break, thank you for your services."

Everyone except for four people left the store.

And Zane began making so much food...

And he would gather it all and set it in bags or on trays and he would politely regard the customers with a smile, then he would somehow find time to clean in between all the unfeasible work he was doing...

And soon everyone was seated and eating and there was no one waiting in the drivethru window and everything was perfectly spotless and fully stocked to perfection.

I hugged him hard when he came back to me. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

He chuckled. "It is no trouble...though..." He glitched. "I think that the grease of the food is messing with my-"

And he fell over, completely motionless.

"Oh hell..." I whispered, looking down. "Guys! It's time to end this dare, Zane just had a major malfunction!"

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

Miss Breyer is fixing Zane...

Cleaning all the McDee's gunk from his support system.

Elena is assisting, since she knows the mechanisms, and soon Zane is properly functioning again.

"Thank goodness..." He whispered. "I thought I was going to stay dead for a little while..."

I shrugged. "Well! Now that you're better it is time to do dares!"

I turned Lloyd into a two-year old, giggling at his adorable bowl shaped hair.

Arbiteth kneeled down and picked up the tiny green ninja, who's outfit was now hanging very loosely from his body.

He smiled and touched Arbiteth's cheeks with his tiny hands. "Ari!"

She cuddled him. "Oh I want oneeee!"

Misako smiled. "Well you have one, dear..."

"Garmadon and Wu must become puppies..."

With a snap of my fingers my smoke encompasses them both and now they are both tiny little pug puppies.

Lloyd pointed at them with a chubby finger. "Da! Wu!"

Arbiteth nuzzled the baby Lloyd lovingly and he giggled loudly, hugging her face.

HailsStorm turned to Misako and Nya. "You two. Commence a slap fight, please."

They pouted, and then began slapping each other really hard.

I walked over to my crowd of dare-ees, grabbing Scales, Scales Jr., Dareth, Pythor, and the other generals.

"I have been dared to shock/burn/blow all of you up...and I am going to chose shock!"

I whipped out a huge cattle prod and shocked each and every one of them.

After they were all good and fried I put the cattle prod away, then finally turning to the ninja.

"And now...you all must sing We Are Ninja by The Fold to your fangirls...playing and electric guitar, a keytar, drums, and a bass..."

They all looked to each other, confused.

Zane frowned. "Ma'am...we do not know how to play instruments..."

I materialized the instruments for them anyway. "Too bad..."

The five tried to play their instruments but the noise that came from them was a cross between a banshee and an elephant.

Cole threw the bass across the room. "Screw this...I'mma do it acapella."

Lou clapped happily. "Oh a quintet!"

He gestured the ninja close to him and the started to clap the beat of the song.

"It's time for battle and were going toe to toe...

Whoa...whoa...

All of the sudden were outnumbered and out-droned

Whoa...whoa...

This place is buzzin' with nindroids!

Whoa...whoa...

We're reachin' higher, and it's lookin like there's hope

It's time to prove just who we are!

NINJA! NINJA!

We've come so close, we've spun so far!

NINJA! NINJA!

I felt stuck for awhile now I'm ready to go

Whoa...whoa...

It's time to save this city and I'm ready for it

Whoa...whoa...

They could build a million droids if they want

Whoa...whoa...

Some things are timeless like the will to carry on

...and on and on

It's time to prove just who we are!

NINJA! NINJA!

We've come so close, we've spun so far!

NINJA! NINJA!

It's time to prove just who we are!

NINJA! NINJA!

We've come so close, we've spun so far!

NINJA! NINJA!"

The girls in the audience all feinted.

"And that concludes our Fantabulous Dare Episode! Up next, TheGoldNinja (previously The Silver Ninja Of Diamonds), has some dares! Until next time!"

Miss Breyer waved at the camera. "Glad you all could make it!"


	14. Chapter 12 - So Many SIBLINGS!

I clapped happily, entwining my fingers together. "Hello! And welcome back to my Fantabulous Dare Show! I you recall TheGoldNinja has some dares for us. And he has only three so I will be able to do Hailsy's three dares as well!"

"Horray!" HailsStorm exclaimed.

"Lloyd? Could you come here please?"

He complied. "Yeah?" He asked, wiping his eyes sleepily.

"The first dare is for you to get sugar high, and then go to the library."

Lloyd sighed. "Fine...but only because I could use a good sugar high..."

I snapped my fingers. "PEYTON! Bring Lloyd's candy that you haven't eaten."

She walked up to me with a large bag in her hands. "Aw why? I earned this fair and square."

I glanced at her, taking the bag. "Well I would have gotten candy myself but because I am throwing my funds into this show, I don't have the ability to afford it..."

Peyton appeared to be about to cry, and I gestured for Lloyd to come near.

He, almost mechanically, started eating the candy, and then rushed from the building to the nearest library...

"Zane...you have been dared to fight your sister..."

Elena and Zane looked at each other worriedly.

"Um..." Elena began. "I..."

I raised my hand to silence her. "Not you, doll, Luna. TheGoldNinja's OC."

Luna stepped into view of the camera and took on fighting stance.

Zane looked very shocked. "Ma'am...I don't know you..."

She smiled. "Well then this will be fun...I know you won't go easy on me."

She lunged toward the snowy ninja with a sound like a clap of thunder, and she started to throw shards of ice.

I nudged HailsStorm. "Deja vu..."

"Oh hell!" Zane exclaimed, joining in the battle that was now occurring in my studio.

And this Luna chick was kicking Zane's tailpipe if you know what I mean.

She was tough...

Elena had her ears covered in a panic, but when Luna finally knocked Zane to the ground she lost it.

"Enough!" She shouted, gripping Luna by the wrists.

Slowly, masses of ice began to form around her hands, until they were about the size of bowling balls, and Elena let go, causing the ice to weigh Luna down...

Her arms were now dragging the floor.

Elena was shaking, either scared or furious. Zane stood and put an arm around her shoulder.

"Thank you." He said.

Luna scoffed. "Hey, the shy one is pretty cool. I'd give you a high five but I'm..." She looked down at her frozen fists. "A little...frosted..."

I snapped my fingers and sent Luna away. "Enough confusion...EVERYONE! To Breaking Dawn Part Two now!"

I turned to the camera, grinning.

"We'll be back after this commercial message..."

X.X.X

_This show is brought to you by Chima, merely because NinjaGo is kind enough to allow such an unworthy sponsor to run during their program. XD (Sorry lovies I don't like Chima...)_

X.X.X

"And now we're back! And on to Hailsy's dares..."

I take out the cue card, then glance to the Overlord with a raised eyebrow.

"Ooooooh. Somebody has an admirer!"

He scoffed. "Tell her...she is wasting her time..."

"Nope! Because you have been dared to kiss her!" I gesture off stage. "Come on out Sportsgallol!"

The Overlord ground his teeth in anger as she stepped forth.

Arbiteth grinned. "Hails said you were a lot like me, just not sexually inclined."

Sports scoffed. "I can be sexually inclined if I want. But most often I don't."

Overlord grimaced. "Let's get this over with..."

Sportsgallol walked up to him, frowning. "Is your leg okay?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I said...let's get this over with..."

She rolled her eyes. "You are such an evil prude..." And they kissed.

Peyton and Hails were sniggering like children, teasing the Overlord and Sports, who were both little more than blushing.

"Now get out of my sight...I don't have time for their foolery..."

"Fine..."

As Sports walked off the set I could hear her mutter: "Ass..."

I clapped my hands. "Oh fabulous! Time for a random couple to dance to Once Upon A December! Since...there have been no dares for you two...Ed, Edna! Go!"

The music starts playing and they start dancing, acting like old children and Jay is near tears from embarrassment...

"Kizu, Mindroid...come here please?"

They approached me, Kizu was shy and Mindroid was high and mighty just like all the other Nindroids...

_Or should I say..._

_Low and mighty..._

_Hahaha..._

_Jokes Jay would make..._

_Haaaaa..._

I leaned down next to Kizu and whispered to her so Mindroid couldn't hear.

"Are you up for kissing a tiny robot today?"

She blushed and cast glances at Mindroid, then looking down at the floor. Mindroid tilted his head in confusion and made his signature beeping noises.

And Kizu planted a tiny kiss right on his nose, then running away to hide.

I turned to the camera. "You see...this is awful because the Mindroid here is not the Mindroid from my Alternate Universe...but from the actual Canon Universe where Mindroid is evil..."

Mindroid appeared to sneeze and wiped at his nose, then looking in the general direction of where Kizu ran off to.

"She's setting a trap for you, Mindroid!" Exclaimed Cryptor. "You can't trust her."

Mindroid turned to him, beeping and gesturing angrily.

I could understand him...

And boy did he have a rotten little mouth.

So cute...

He rushed off after Kizu.

I smiled to the people watching. "Alright, and that concludes this episode of the Fantabulous Dare show. Up next, TheGoldNinja has some dares for Overlord."

"God damnit."

"And Ninjagorulz has some for Mindroid and Cryptor. She wants me to quote: "Hi Cryptor and Mindroid it is me, Ninjagorulz. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to basically dare you a lot. If anyone is going to end your misery it WILL be me." Until next time...peace!"


	15. Intermission

_Okay guys..._

_I'm sorry that I haven't been doing a bunch of updating on the Dare Show._

_I have a ton of dares and a ton of ideas and my priorities are clashing hard. XD_

_I promise I will get to the dares eventually, same with the one-shot requests, I just have to get back into the spirit of it._

_Don't give up on meeeee. ;)_


	16. Chapter 13 - Everybody Loves Overlord

D!sc0rd

I have my fingers in the form of a pyramid of evil, and I am smiling wickedly at Cyrus and Kizu.

"So...you two are not even original residents of NinjaGo City...you guys are from Russia, Ms. Breyer tells me..."

Cyrus had put on his charmingly sweet half smile and he adjusted his glasses. "Oh well yes, um...I did not retain my accent as well as Kizu here did but it still can be slightly apparent when I say certain words."

I pursed my lips in contemplation. "What made you decide to move from Russia all the way to NinjaGo?"

He sighed. "Well...as you know my parents named me for my future occupation, but where we lived there was not very much opportunity for schooling. That was one reason...the other was my brother...KizuKeru's father..."

"Oh?" I queried. "What about him?"

Cyrus grimaced. "My he was a problem child. Very violent. He had so much rage in his heart." He bowed his head slightly. "I am permanently paralyzed because of him..."

I covered my mouth with my hand. "Oh..."

"But yes I moved here for better education, and I got it and now I own my own mechanics franchise..." He put a hand on Kizu's shoulder. "Kizu is here because her father thought it would be funny to follow me here...he found a house in the outskirts of the city...found a girl...she got pregnant...and well...they both raised Kizu out there where no one would witness how awfully they treated her..."

I sighed, feeling terrible for asking. "That's...terrible..."

Cyrus nodded. "It is terrible. But Kizu is safe now and her father has passed on...I wished I could say I was sad for him but I am quite the opposite..."

I took another deep breath. "Okay! On to the dares, my curiosity has killed too many cats already..."

I held up the cue card. "LucyBrick123 says it's PIXAL's turn to be a puppy!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands and boom!

A tiny mechanical puppy was now in her place.

Zane stared down at her strangely, head tilted. Then he looked to me.

"I have seen your bizarre magic many times but I still do not understand how it works..."

I waved my hand at him. "Oh hush, it isn't supposed to make sense! Just love on your PIXAL puppy."

Carefully he picked up PIXAL and held her in his arms.

She made mechanical barking sounds at him, and soon he was enthralled by her adorableness.

"Next dares are for the Overlord from TheGoldNinja. You have to be turned into Nyan Cat first...whatever that may be. I assume it is an Internet thing so I shall just send you to the Internet."

I do so, bringing out a laptop so I can see the carnage.

The Overlord is in the shape of a poptart and he is colored purple and black and grey.

He is floating about on the screen, appearing angry as wavy purple ribbons propel him from behind...

All the while a strange, high-pitched and rather annoying tune is playing in the background.

"Okay I think he's had enough." I snap my fingers and he is before me one more.

His eyes are wide with terror. "Oh dear Jesus..." He looked up at me, gripping m leg tightly. "Please don't do that to me again, please almighty D!sc0rd3r don't send me back into that annoying hell you call Internet!"

I laughed whole-heartedly, petting him and shushing him as he hugged my legs and blubbered like a pathetic infant.

"I'll try my best, but if you get dared then you have to..."

I look back at my cue card. "I assume that that background music was supremely annoying for you...it was to me...so that can be the end of that...now you must be teleported into the game, Five Nights At Freddy's." I grinned. "I have finally played this game and I am going to tell you personally that you're gonna have some fun."

He looks up at me, pleading. "Will it be as awful as Internet?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No. But it will certainly be terrifying..."

Before he can retaliate, I snap my fingers and he is gone.

X.X.X

Overlord

It is black as pitch and it seems to be a never-ending maze if doors and hallways.

I can't see a thing but I can hear so much.

Things are shuffling about in the shadows.

The whir of electronics is very apparent and I am already frightened by Internet...

I pray that this will not be worse.

Lights are flashing around me now and I can see something at the end of the hall where I reside.

It is very large and it has a round shape...

I look to my right and left and realized that my only possible escape is through the door on my left.

I go to walk through it but suddenly it slams down.

Blocking my only way to safety.

I stare fearfully at the figure toward the end of the hall.

With every flicker of the lights it draws nearer to me.

I back as far as I can into the wall.

I do not have my golden suit...

I do not have any power.

The figure is close enough to where I can see its features.

It is a giant yellow beast with a demented smile and a bib that excitedly proclaims "Lets Eat!".

It grabs me and starts to carry me away from that closed door.

I thrash and fight against it but it is strong...

It takes me to a room where a bunch of mechanical costumes lay.

It forces me up onto the table next to a frightening bear costume.

It takes the head of it...

And the last thing that I see is the metal bar inside the face just before it punctures my skull...

X.X.X

D!sc0rd

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "Freddy Fazabear's Pizzeria is not responsible for any damages or dismemberment...moving on! These next dares are for Cryptor and Mindroid from Ninjagorulz. Cryptor must sing Full Digital to the ninja..."

Cryptor starts and I would rather not go into detail about his awful monotone voice...

"While he is doing that Mindroid can go into the amazing world of Minecraft...that game I have never played."

I snapped my fingers for what seemed to be the billionth time and he was gone.

Cryptor was singing and I believe the ninjas ears were bleeding profusely...

I raised my hands. "Enough enough. You suck please just stop..."

I snap my fingers to bring Mindroid back and he has brought with him a tiny pig made out of little squares of varying colors...

He walks up to KizuKeru and offers it to her with gleeful beeping.

Kizu smiles shyly at him and she takes it, thanking him and petting the boxy beast affectionately.

I gesture for Cryptor and Mindroid to come near to me and they do so.

I put my arms around their shoulders. "You two...must now battle for my amusement..."

Cryptor grinned and rubbed his hands together. "Oh now we are on to the fun stuff..."

Mindroid beeped.

I shooed Cryptor away and whispered to Mindroid. "You get to push him off a cliff don't worry..."

He nodded happily and they commenced the fight.

It was pretty interesting. The small versus the tall.

And Cryptor was not doing well against the little guy.

Mindroid kept driving him back and back and back...

Until he had his shoulders pressed to the windows.

And with one final kick Mindroid broke the glass with the force of the blow and Cryptor went tumbling over the side of the cliff...

I smiled to the tiny droid. "You read Little Angels didn't you...?"

His eyebrows angrily furrowed and he nodded.

Kizu blushed.

I laughed. "You two are precious."

I turned to the camera. "And that concludes this episode lovies! Up next we have some dares from CameronNinjaDragons and sportsgallol. Until next time on my Fantabulous Dare Show."


End file.
